Old women passing tips along

An old friend, old woman, crow woman left us this link to another Gypsy who journals a life that might be worth exploring ... I will go there for inspiration and exploration... old women, young women, re-born woman, re-born man, travellers.

Thank you JT.

http://thegypsytraveljournal.blogspot.com/search/label/words%20of%20gypsywoman

I am an old woman

Angel From Montgomery

Bonnie Raitt

I am an old woman

named after my mother

an old man is another

child who's grown old

If dreams were thunder

lightning was desire

this old house would've

burned downa long time ago

[Chorus:]

Make me an angel

That flies from montgomery

Make me a poster

Of an old rodeo

Just give me one thing

That i can hold on to

To believe in this livin'

Is just a hard way to go

When i was a young girl

I had me a cowboy

It wasn't much to look at

It was a free ramblin' man

There was a long time

No matter how i tried

The years they just rolled by

Like a broken down dance

[Chorus]

There's flies in the kitchen

I can hear them there buzzin'

And i ain't done nothing since i woke up today

But how the hell can a person

Go on to work in the morning

To come home in the evening

And have nothing to say

Bonnie Raitt has been singing to my soul since we were much younger woman. I think about this song a lot as I am driving behind the dandelion colored wagon or sitting atop the futon inside the vardo. I am that old woman now, and if you know what those lyrics are really about then I suspect you are living a life that is filling up to over-flowing.

I am back in a town where I used to drive the streets as a very young woman, things including the streets have changed a bit or a barrell like the old street that led to the Lowell-district and the Snohomish River Road. When I lived not far from where Pete and I are now encamped, I knew the streets and could get around with the internal map locked in. But, I am an old woman now with a brain and body that are not only aged but affected by the rearranging toxics of a chemicalized world. My brain and my immune system have lost some of their flexibility plus the streets have been changed. Take that to the stock pot and you get a whole different sort of soup, I gotta tell you.

Our first night's sleep in the new parking spot around the back of our friends' home overlooks the Port of Everett, the Weyerhauser mill and the Naval Base. The train tracks run below us and big bright lights remain lit all night. To say we are in another whirl while being on Planet Earth you would have to know all the other whirls we have been in the years since multiple chemical sensitivities have made their marks upon us. We slept rough and I covered up some of the windows to minimize the glaze of the city's need to be lit. Today Pete and I hunted down pairs of ear plugs to wear (inside and outside the vardo). Quiet nights of dark sky sleep on The Ledge were sauves of healing and we never took those hours for granted, appreciating every one of them, every night. Sleep does not store up in the body or mind, I think a being needs sleep regularly to heal. That is in the perfectly balanced world we would have that birthright.

This old woman and old man will be testing their ability to adjust without wearing down the reserves we have accumulated during those seven months on The Ledge. How much does a 700 miles of hard driving and moving about tap away at that reserve? With luck and old people wisdom I pray that Angel from Montgomery soothes us as we make our way to through this return to Everett where city living is filled with challenges..."just give me one thing that i can hold on to ... to believe in this livin is just a hard way to go ..."

Photo Credit: mahboudian.googlepages.com/old-woman.jpg

Back to Everett

We are in Everett, Washington ... old mill town and home to long time friends, friends who have housed us many times. The adjustments are happening; it was a twelve hour drive (through some beautiful central Oregon country), and now the fragrances and environmental realities of a city make their presence known. I'm recouping and looking forward to a lot less brain fog and weakness.

Bernadette and Pete made the trek without incident. The report from Pete includes lots of thumbs up from the passers-by as they marveled at the wee home. I followed with Scout and Jots (who was very vocal for most of the four hundred mile trip ... "Are we there yet!!") Driving in the nighttime hours was stressful and what a culture shock to go from country field to freeway. YIKES!

We are parked temporarily in the driveway, where once we parked the Scout two or was that three years ago. We have some work to do on VardoForTwo ... enclosing the porch for a kitchen and a closet. We've measured up the dimensions and have a small refrigerator to add to the mix of necessary comforts. Shoring up those cracks in our foundation it will take both of us a bit more time.

Thanks to all the well wishes and many, many thanks to our Tribe.

Bye, bye Bend and Baseball

Some things just don't work out. Pete has the old Dodge loaded up, and a new plan has been laid. We are flexible, but there are limits to just how much we'll bend. A couple very long time friends have offered us a place to be, so we're taking them up on the offer where a toilet and shower and a basement where we can set up an inside kitchen awaits us. We know the town and the home we're headed to aren't perfect and at this point, we're going to settle in and work around it from this vardo. The vardo will give us safe sleep and the rest will have to be part of the settling in process. Winter and a vardo without facilities is just too much to ask of these old folk.

Life is imperfect, and yet there are examples of enjoyment among all the challenges. We find the richness of our life together in something as simple and distracting as listening to the World Series (Baseball) Game on a radio. A radio that works right from this Bend, Oregon hay field. For two nights now, in the comfort of this wee home we have been transported from this field to the baseball field at Yankee Stadium where pitchers throw curve balls, change-ups and 90 mph fast balls. Baseball players with names familiar and comforting ... especially that Maui-born center fielder Shane Victorino who reminds me of my cousin Patrick, soothe me away from the reality of life in a field in Bend. The announcers are good at their art and they know the game and we are there!

Building an MCS-safe tiny home community may have to be a dream set to rest. Our tiny home has come a long way from the dream of origin born more than two years ago. It takes a lot of energy to live this life, let alone try to build a home for someone else or grow a community of folks who live with this illness. This winter, we need to settle in, cozy up and attract some comfort wherever we can find it.

Wish us luck.

Favor for a stranger

Months ago I received an email request from a stranger ... a visitor to the blog and a vardo builder. The visitor was in search of the sun and moon and sky pattern in my old blanket. At the time I was unable to load pictures to the blog. The visitor said time was not an issue ... waiting was okay.

So, here is that picture of the blanket, Vardo builder. I'm sorry I have lot your email during our travels so I hope you visit us and find this.

WOOD CRAFTING the tale continues

The newest installment of the story WOOD CRAFTING is up. Click here to keep following the tale.

Astrology and Navigation from the Vardo

The four nights and days of the 'Ole cycle according the Hawaiian Moon Calendar are pau, and they have been a very important time of review, restoration, rest and weeding our symbolic and real lives. Astrologically, things are happening for all (the collective) on the planet; and personally Pete and I have important issues to review and access from our physical place on the earth ... specifically, our position here in the field with Rescue Horses, barbed wire and our micro-home called VardoForTwo. Our choices, our relationships and the process of creating the life (individually and as a couple) we have is based on the years of choosing, the years of our interactions, and the process of getting ourselves into a very tiny home now parked in a field in Central Oregon. What we are doing is hard stuff, there is nothing (nothing!) easy about it. The four nights and days of the 'Ole cycle have been perfect times to do two important pieces of homework. The reasons for doing them boil down to this:

At the end of October (in two and a half days) Saturn (the planet of discipline, and control) will move into the Cardinal (down to basics) sign of Libra (balance, partnerships) from Virgo. Pluto (planet of birth and re-birth) is already in Capricorn (a cardinal sign). Uranus will shift into Aries (another cardinal sign). Cardinal signs mean we must focus on the things that the cardinal signs mean to humans and human "success" (in whatever form).

Four important questions need to be answered during this time between Saturn's move into Libra:

• WHO ARE YOU? (How do you present yourself to the world?) Astrologically 1st House
  
• WHO IS YOUR TRIBE/CLAN? (How do you define your tribe/family/clan?) Astrologically 4th House
  
• WHO IS YOUR PARTNER(S)? (Who is your romantic partners and who is your solid partner as it relates to the foundations of your life?) Astrologically 7th House
  
• WHAT IS YOUR JOB? Astrologically 10th House

Link: Click below to watch and listen to the video by Elsa P. that explains this 4 question process.

http://www.elsaelsa.com/archives/2009/10/24/1-minute-astrology-how-to-thrive-2009-2010-2011/

Personally, the answers I have come up with to the 4 questions are (The short version):

Who am I? I am an old woman.

Who is my tribe/family/clan? My clan is my son, my husband Pete and my Island heritage and roots.

Who is my partner/partners? Pete is my partner and outside of him my solid partners are those friends who value me and my husband and will support us emotionally and physically with our needs as we age and require specific accommodations relating to the disease of Multiple Chemical Sensitivities. My partners must be people who see healthy boundaries and boundary making as an important value; and we work together to set boundaries and respect them in ourselves and in our relationships.

What is my job? I am a storyteller, a publisher and blog author of life-lessons learned the hard way -- through real life. I am a digger and I will probably make you uncomfortable, confused or inspired with the cracks I discover.


The second piece of homework that I committed to during the past four days was a review and reflection on the past 7 years. Again, Elsa P. is the expert and astrologer who has much more convincing reasons for doing this 7 year review.

Link to the posts below for that information:

http://www.elsaelsa.com/archives/2009/10/27/saturn-leaving-virgo-for-libra-and-thinking-in-terms-of-7-years/
http://www.elsaelsa.com/archives/2009/10/27/trends-in-the-collective-saturn-and-pluto-changing-signs-the-natural-zodiac-vs-the-personal-experience/#more-10601


Pete and I are parked in a field with a dream of building community (11th house stuff astrologically) seriously dissolving into a reality check. Specifically, the check is ... can that dream be done from this field and with this arrangement? Also, before we get any further along (time wise ... winter is here, the passes are more difficult to cross or criss-cross) we need to look at what we have done and how we have done it and with whom have we done these things.

Before we can make progress, we have got to re-check our climbing equipment and look for any cracks in the foundations. There are cracks, so we needed to do the review with careful attention to details. (Virgo things). I spent the entire day yesterday, some of the evening last night reviewing the gains and details of our life(lives) over the past 7 years. The process and the patterns were revealing and then Pete and I went through it together ... more and more was revealed.

We are taking a break from the review as I write. Pete is playing a little solitaire, and then we'll pick up the review again. As I wrote in the beginning of this post, what we are doing is not easy. The past 7 years have been gut-wrenching and the losses have been heavy. Individually and as a couple these two old people have been through hell and back many times. I come to these blog pages and put (some) of these stories on the page. Two people who believe the best option for there life is to build and live in the world from a two-wheeled wagon and ask for 1) clean air 2) chemical free and fragrance free surroundings/and empathetic partnerships 3) physical accommodations that allow and embrace our life(style) require a lot from the world as it exists today.

This 7 year history review has revealed the cracks in our foundations. Like this:

1. Where have I been self-serving in my relationships (selfish and mean) over and over again? If that is a pattern and continues to escalate because now I am sick with this environmental illness, I see it as a crack in my foundation. I have got to do some changing with my relationships. The disease is difficult; but I am seeing that my ability to communicate through the difficulties of the disease/exposures are a vital shoring up process for me going forward.

Saturn is my chart ruler. With Saturn moving into Libra my relationships will be a key work, and it's my job, or Saturn will simply make it more difficult and the struggles will be even more.

Throughout the homework I did I reviewed and reflected on the 7 years with a focus on the areas of life as depicted in Elsa's suggestion to break down the 28 year cycle of Saturn into quadrants (7 years at a time). Link to that post for a visual of the quadrants.

In a nutshell, I reviewed the 7 years with the idea of looking for patterns of
1) effort relative to my family
2) creativity
3) hard work and service

I coupled it with the 4 questions from above. The research and review was legend and like I say Pete and I will pick it up again after I finish this post. Multiple Chemical Sensitivities is gaining in attention especially during the past two years. Bloggers and social networks provide incredible service to those of us who live with this disease. Diagnosing the disease is difficult and yet that is becoming more and more the 'norm' for more and more people who have not understood their experiences of loss/mental debilitation and emotional-social loss. Supportive community through the internet is now providing a different and new level of knowing and care. That is critical because any who live with this illness know, face-to-face support comes with its inherent risks ... even when a person has the best of intentions to support you, an exposure and a set-back is always probable.

What I attempt to do here with VardoForTwo is to offer a different sort of support through our experiences and include the navigational tools I find useful on our journey. Astrology is a concrete cosmic science, and for me, I use it because it offers a broad view. I am grateful to know that at this stage and age, I am able to use astrology as a tool. It is not simple, yet I have found a teacher and a community where I can hybrid my experiences and come up with something useful. All through the years (7 years in particular) of history-making, our personalities have been hard at work for good or ill. That's the thing about living with disease-illness that is chronic and not cured with pill-injection-surgery ... my personality is always part of the recovery, discovery and my choices are affected by the illness and my native personality.

Creating a safe haven community for people with MCS is a difficult goal. Who would know (for sure) until you try. At this point, Pete and I need to reevaluate and try to keep the communication process open while maintaining flexible and real boundaries. Navigation is difficult when the charts don't exist ... and so, I look to the stars and planets for charts that do exist. We made this expedition to Bend, site unseen. It's not the first time, but maybe we have learned something new this time and can look to our history to shore us with the confidence we need to keep believing in the journey. The goals may need changing but that is not a bad thing, especially if the goal has a crack in it.

Saturn moves into Libra at the end of the month. Do you know where the cracks are in your foundation?